Return

Return.

Return.

There is so much new in my life, and while it does drive me close to insanity at times, returning to the good of the past would remove the great of the present.

Lucas was up for three and a half hours last night. Sure, I'd love to return to good, decent nights sleep, but that would mean no Lucas.

Though I have has many jobs in my life, I do not believe I would return to any of them. They were great experiences, but what they taught me most were the things I am not meant to do.

The only thing to which I return over and over again is theatre. It feeds my soul in a way no other thing does. I'm typing this as I sit at rehearsal, and I'm surrounded by people who are passionate about their work in ways unlike I've seen most anywhere else.

I don't do this professionally, and as a result, my involvement is sporadic. So, when I think of returning, the stage is the thing I hope most to return to. Again and again.

Who Am I?

I'm taking part in Rethink Church's Lenten 40-day photo challenge. At least, I'm doing it today.

Today is Ash Wednesday, and the prompt is "Who Am I?" I've seen people post pictures of ashes, crosses, brainstorming of things they are, pictures of themselves, all introspective attempts to answer that question.

My picture?

Those are my and my son's feet. It is hard for me, being a new mother with an almost 11-month-old son, to separate myself from him, physically and otherwise. My identity is wrapped up in him. And though I have lots of other things going on in my life, other things that do tell a story of who I am, I wake a mother and I go to sleep a mother, and those bookends color my days. Especially today.

So who am I? I am "Ma-ma-ma." And even when it drives me insane, I kind of like it.

I figure most of my daily photo responses will include this little guy. He's cute, so it works out well.

December Daily Foundation Pages

I'm insane. Really, I know it.

Only two posts ago I was bemoaning the fact that I am not a "daily" kind of person. I just don't do things daily. Yet, here I am, preparing for another daily activity: December Daily.

I know. I'm insane.

My husband laughed at me when I told him what I was doing.

But I love Christmas. And it's Lucas's first Christmas. And I want to attempt to document it.

Part of the goal of December Daily is to make all of the pages before December starts. I'm hoping that will give me an edge. Then all I have to do during December is take some photos and write down some stories. I especially love that (somewhere... I don't remember where...) Ali Edwards said that it doesn't matter if the photo for a certain day was actually taken on that day... no one will know! So that's my freedom, and what I am hoping will get me through.

So I went to Archivers and went crazy with a gift card my mom gave me last Christmas (hey, I had a baby this year, no judging).

I found this awesome 12x12 sheet with the numbers 1-25. I'm going to cut it up and use it as my number for each day.

I decided to do an 8x8 album. I had seen this from s.e.i. before, and snagged one in green.

 I also grabbed this stack of Christmas cardstock.

I then perused the store and mixed and matched some patterned papers that I liked. Here's the front of the six I picked out...

and here's the back...

(yes, the one on the far right is the same as the numbers that I got above. I got two, because I loved the green with white dots that is the back of it!)

I've decided to go simple. I'm going to use either a 2x8 or 3x8 strip of patterned paper, a .5x8 strip of cardstock, and the number. Then all I have to add is a picture and maybe some journaling, and I'm done. 

I am thinking that I will only adhere the patterned paper and the cardstock, and leave the numbers in a separate stack. That way I can decide which paper to use and where to place the number based on the picture. I have a really hard time planning a page without a picture, so this whole foundation thing is kind of hard for me.

Now, the only challenge left to overcome is printing out my pictures. I don't have a great photo printer at home. I'm debating whether to just take pics all month and print them all off at the end, maybe through Shutterfly or something, or do them weekly, or even daily at Walgreens or the equivalent. I'd like to have a plan, but I'm not sure what will work best. I'll keep thinking.

So, there you go. The beginnings of a December Daily album. I am not putting dates on anything yet, in case it all falls apart. Then I can use all of my supplies again next year. For another attempt. That will probably fail, too. But, hey, I'm on this merry-go-round, and I'm not getting off!

Humor Gets Me Through

Last week I visited a "new" bookstore (it's only new because I haven't been before; it's actually been around for several months!) I'd forgotten how much I missed a bookstore. Amazon is nice if you know what you're after, but it's really impossible to browse.

It's also very nice to be able to look in a book before buying it. Point in case: I found a book at this bookstore that looked interesting, so I picked it up to check it out. The book was "Feeding Yourself, Feeding Your Family: Good Nutrition and Healthy Cooking for New Moms and Growing Families," published by the La Leche League. I thought it might have some tips for transitioning from breastfeeding to solids, which is where we are right now. So I turned to the chapter on this topic and began reading.

I had to stop about two paragraphs in because I was laughing so hard, I thought I was becoming disruptive. I had come across this sentence: "[Your baby] is now very alert when she feeds, even as she looks into your eyes and relaxes by patting your breast, reaching up to touch your face, or simply grasping your fingers." All I could think was, "Oh, you mean when he slams his fist into my chest repeatedly and tries to rip my lips off of my face with his hand. I'm with you, now!"

Needless to say, we are not having the calm, peaceful nursing experience so often referenced in books. I guess you could call Lucas an "active eater," though that doesn't really cover it. But he is pretty darn cute, even when actively destroying me in order to eat.

LSNED: Failure

I fail when it comes to daily routines. At least daily routines that someone else isn't making me do or paying me to do.

It's been 6 days since I tracked my learning. My sister kindly told me that my posts really didn't make sense anyway. So I kind of gave up this week. I haven't even read the prompts for the past 3 days. I should take on short projects, like maybe a 5-day or 10-day thing. Or maybe I just need to stop setting myself up for failure at all, be pleased with whatever I record, and not expect things of my future self.

Yeah. Maybe we'll work on that for awhile.

LSNED September 8 and 9

I almost made it 10 days without getting behind! Weekends are hard, because they are usually so different.

September 8:
On Saturday, we took Lucas to the state fair. It was a lot of fun! I do not believe that I have ever been; I at least don't remember if I have. We watched a lumberjack show where they did a chopping context, and ax throwing contest, and a log roll (where they walk on the log that's floating in water). One of the audience members got to walk on the log - it looked like a lot of fun, and she actually stayed on in for a few moments, longer than I would have!

Probably the coolest thing I learned at the fair, however, is that they have a paper craft contest! We stumbled upon it as we checked out the photography, sewing, and paintings. It was so cool to get to see others' work. I think I'll submit some of my own next year.

September 9
Sunday was a necessitated lazy day. I've been feeling a little cruddy lately, so we sent the kiddo to church with the grandparents and relaxed at their house. We watched the first football game of the season (we lost), and then rehearsed for a friend's wedding.

Shimelle's prompt for Sunday was a little confusing to me. I think we were supposed to think about how we learn things, or see what we learn from others. I'm still not sure how exactly to follow what she was prompting, and I'm still thinking about what I learned. I'll get back to you on that one!

LSNED September 7

Oh, Shimelle. I'm doing good to write something once a day. Once an hour just isn't going to happen.

Learning for today: I need my friends. They're wonderful ladies. I need to make a concerted effort to see them, at least one, once a week. I can do that, right?