Saturday, January 8, 2011

An Aha! Moment

My sister has made a commitment to blog once a week, using the help of the daily post. This intrigued me, so I checked it out. This is a blog that gives you topic suggestions on what to post each day, to provide support and community for people who want to blog more.

I could get in to this. I like prompts. I'm considering using journaling prompts as my bell work if/when I get my own classroom. High school students, beware.

The first prompt I came across was this one: describe a recent Aha! moment.

My moment wasn't recent. But I got to thinking about this blog and how I talk about things going on in my life right now, but I never really talk about me, who I am, or what has made me who I am. Or, more specifically, what has brought me to where I am right now. Because there's a specific moment. I kind of knew it at the time, but over the last approximately 2 years since this event happened, it's become more and more clear to me that this was a defining "Aha!" moment in my life. At least, I want it to be.

When I read this prompt, the moment that came to mind is the moment that prompted me to quit my job and return to school, albeit not in a direct route to the revelation this aha! moment produced. Two years ago, we had just moved back to the college my husband and I both graduated from where hubby took a job as a professor. I was still working where we used to live, commuting several days a week and telecommuting the others. I had been very involved in the theatre program, and upon returning, some of the students who knew I'd acted before encouraged me to audition for an upcoming production, The Importance of Being Earnest. It was actually being directed by a student, and it was mostly she who encouraged me to audition. I was really nervous because, while I knew some of the students through other people, we had been gone one whole 4-year rotation of students, so the majority of people were people I had not worked with before and didn't know all that well...yet.

I went to the audition and read opposite another girl (I can't even remember who...) for the role of Gwendolen. I remember sitting on stage in a chair down right, lights blaring, a bunch of people I didn't know sitting in the audience. I got about half way through the scene, and felt like it was going really well, until I completely lost my place. Like, lost my place so badly I had to stop and ask the other girl where we were. I was so embarrassed, but we all laughed it off and moved on. But somewhere in there, something clicked and I thought, "This is what I'm supposed to be doing." Not working a 9-5 job that was a good job but really didn't bring me joy. Not driving an hour and a half to get to a job that didn't bring me joy. Not staring into the face of corporate America with no end in sight. I wanted to do theatre, and I wanted to do it with people like me—people who had a passion for it, people who couldn't breathe without having a little bit of drama in their life. I loved theatre all through high school and college the first time around. But after I graduated, I didn't really do it anymore. And I didn't realize how much I missed it until I got back on that stage and flubbed up the lines of an audition, and loved every minute of it. I loved how I could suck at something so badly and not be scared away.

I got the part, by the way. And a year later I quit my full-time job and returned to school to pursue a teaching license. Aha! moments can't always produce change immediately. But here I am, entering student teaching and preparing to have my own classroom someday (hopefully), and I am so excited about what I am doing. My plan is to get certified to teach English and then add on a Theatre certification so I can do both. I eventually want to teach theatre at the college level. So, this isn't exactly the most direct route to my eventual goal, but I really love what I'm doing and where I am. And as part of striving to find the peace in between, I am content with experiencing the journey, because, while the goal is hopefully going to be amazing, the journey is pretty awesome, too. And I'm thankful for my Aha! moment that put me on this journey.


  1. Your Gwendolyn audition was great!! I don't remember you stopping though! How funny.

  2. I'm sure it wasn't as blatantly glaring to anyone else as it was to me. Things like that never are. On a related note, I've always meant to thank you for that. :)